Syntax != Sin Tax

I love Little Dee. I dedicate the comic today to all my grammar loving friends.

Begone Foul Temptor!

For a variety of reasons enrolled at Oklahoma Christian College (OCC). OCC is a small private school allied with the Churches of Christ located in Edmond Oklahoma. For all the problem I have with the school it has a decent academic program. There were also two very important attributes that made it attractive. It was far enough away from home that my Mom wouldn’t just show up and it was close enough that it was easy enough to get back for holidays and breaks.

My first year passed without too many incidents. I skipped daily chapel and classes a lot which put me on probation but nothing too serious. Probation meant that I couldn’t join the basketball team, hold a student council office or join their version of a fraternity. None of these was a big loss in my view.

My second year was a bit wilder. I flaunted or outright rebelled against the authority of the school. The residence hall advisor (RA) knew I was drinking but I was smart enough to always be clean on campus so he never had proof. A bottle of whiskey was planted in my room and the RA was given an anonymous tip. That put me on probation again and had the added penalty of being required to attend alcohol abuse counseling. My defense against the whiskey was that if I was going to risk punishment for bringing a bottle on campus I would have cracked the seal and had a drink. Why leave a perfectly good bottle of booze on the shelf in my closet and not have at least one drink?

A month or so after the whiskey incident a friend was getting a few guys together for a party in his room. There was booze, beer and porno. We were hanging out, drinking, watching and chatting when the RA and a couple of his cronies came into the room. Busted! The RA collected all the booze and videos then escorted us all into the common area of the dorm while his cronies guarded the doors to keep out anyone else and prevent our escape. One by one we were called into his office, tested by brethalyzer and asked to give a statement.

I knew I was going to get expelled. This was my second strike for an alcohol related offense and I knew I would not be given another chance. So when it was my turn I told the RA that it was my party. I bought all the booze and rented the videos. I coerced everyone to be there. I got them all drunk and if I hadn’t been the instigator the party wouldn’t have happened.

In the morning I was called to the Dean of Men’s office and informed that I was expelled from school. I had to call my Mom and tell her right then and I had to be off campus by end of the weekend. He then told me that the expulsion wasn’t permanent and I could return in a year to finish my degree. I tried to return, but the expulsion screwed up my financial aid and could never raise the money.

As far as I know everyone else at the party eventually graduated. The only regret I have about the whole episode was calling my Mom the next morning. That was very hard. I wanted to wait until she was home, but they made me call her right there at work. Sadistic bastards.