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jamee13 was wondering how to start writing letters to a soldier
she adopted. My advice to her, and everyone else, is to just write it. Grab
a piece of paper and a pen and start writing. Ignore all the letter writing
sites and etiquette you find searching the web. I know she was asking for
advice about what to write in the letter and I’ll get to that, but I wanted to
spend some time dispelling a few myths first.
I found quite a few websites that discuss writing personal letters and the
etiquette one should follow. I think they are all unimportant. Back when
Emily Post wrote her book Etiquette the letter was the major form
of communication between people and a “sloppy” letter showed a lack of concern
for the recipient. These days it’s easier for me to pick up the phone or type
out a quick email. Taking the time to write a letter by hand and spend the 41
cents shows a lot of concern for the recipient. Don’t worry about your
handwriting or making mistakes. In these days of perfect fonts on computer
screens I find a handwritten letter very welcome. If you can’t write in
cursive then just print and don’t worry about writing perfect letters. If you
do have a fine writing style you might still want to print your letter when
writing to friends who live overseas. I’ve learned how to read cursive
writing from a German but those first few letters took quite a bit of
deciphering because they form some letters differently.
Miss Post also spends quite a bit of time discussing the paper and envelope
used for the letter including the size of the page (5 3/4” x 7 1/2” for men)
and minute details on the flap of the envelope. Any size of page or envelope
is acceptable and unusual sizes and shapes are particularly nice to receive.
One of my favorite letters was written on the back of postcards that showed
where the author lived.
We both agree that the paper should be clean and without too much decoration.
A border is nice but a busy background makes it harder to read the writing and
after all that is the important part. I have sent and received many letters
written on graph paper and I cherish each and every one of them. If you are
writing to someone on deployment I recommend using white paper with a black
pen that makes a nice solid line. Soldiers do not always have the luxury of
reading letters in well lit locations and the high contrast makes the letter
easier to read.
The heading of a personal letter should be simple and to the point. I write
the date in the upper left corner and a simple address to start. I
spell out the month and use all four digits for the year because I send a lot
of letters overseas and 01/02/07 would be interpreted as January 2nd or
February 1st depending on where the recipient lives. I also keep the address
pretty simple by just writing the name of the recipient. If I know them well
or intimately I would preface it with “My Dear” or “Dearest.”
The body of the letter is not set. I follow a standard formula of a few
paragraphs in response to their last letter followed by a few paragraphs of
news and updates in my life. Early in a letter exchanging relationship I try
to end each letter with a question to learn more about my partner and suggest
subjects for writing. I isn’t hard to come up with something to write in a
letter. Quotations you like, movies you’ve seen, books you’ve read, places
you would like to visit are all good starting points for a letter.
I also keep the signature very simple. I usually end with “Your Friend,” but
I will also use more intimate phrases for the appropriate people. Sometimes
I have signed in the style of a ship’s log or medieval author and use a long
elaborate signature. Even though I print the rest of the letter I sign my
name at the end. I think that adds a bit more of the personal touch, but I
never look down on anyone who prints their entire letter. Always add your
address at the end of the letter when writing someone for the first time. You
should always include a return address on the letter but that can be obscured
by dirt during transit. Adding the address inside ensures that the recipient
always knows where to send a reply.
Now that I have covered how to write a letter I probably should answer jamee13’s original question about what to write in a letter. Since
she is writing a letter to introduce her to a new person she could follow this
outline:
- Introduce yourself. This is as simple as “Hi! My name is Brendan.”
- Tell your recipient how you found them. I find new penpals in
LetterMag a magazine printed by Deutsche Post so I write about
finding their name and why I wrote them a letter.
- Tell them about yourself. I write about my job, where I live, my hobbies
and a bit about my family.
- Invite them to write back.
- Sign the letter, stick it an envelope, address it, add postage and drop it
in the mailbox.
The hardest part comes after you’ve mailed your letter. Waiting for a reply.
Don’t obsess over getting a reply for each and every letter. Sometimes they
get lost in the mail. Sometimes the person you wrote just doesn’t want to
write back. I have sent out many introduction letters and only a few people
have written back. Those few letters are treasures I’ll keep for ever. So
don’t worry about writing the perfect letter. The one that you write is the
perfect letter.
P.S. If you want to follow Miss Post’s advice about paper sizes, envelope
flaps and all the other assorted details do not let this post stop you. The
first rule is to have fun and if you enjoy finding the perfect paper, pen and
crafting a work of epistlogical art then please do so. I would love to see
the result.
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