HollyKing's Journal

I've used Microsoft Money and Quicken in the past but I haven't used either for a very long time. I need to get a view of my finances so I can get things under control. Are these both still good products to use? Is there something better? Why choose one over the other?

Thanks! BTW: If you haven't noticed more posting about things of substance and what's going on with me. It helps to get the words out and motivate me to become a better person.

jamee13 was wondering how to start writing letters to a soldier she adopted. My advice to her, and everyone else, is to just write it. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and start writing. Ignore all the letter writing sites and etiquette you find searching the web. I know she was asking for advice about what to write in the letter and I’ll get to that, but I wanted to spend some time dispelling a few myths first.

I found quite a few websites that discuss writing personal letters and the etiquette one should follow. I think they are all unimportant. Back when Emily Post wrote her book Etiquette the letter was the major form of communication between people and a “sloppy” letter showed a lack of concern for the recipient. These days it’s easier for me to pick up the phone or type out a quick email. Taking the time to write a letter by hand and spend the 41 cents shows a lot of concern for the recipient. Don’t worry about your handwriting or making mistakes. In these days of perfect fonts on computer screens I find a handwritten letter very welcome. If you can’t write in cursive then just print and don’t worry about writing perfect letters. If you do have a fine writing style you might still want to print your letter when writing to friends who live overseas. I’ve learned how to read cursive writing from a German but those first few letters took quite a bit of deciphering because they form some letters differently.

Miss Post also spends quite a bit of time discussing the paper and envelope used for the letter including the size of the page (5 3/4” x 7 1/2” for men) and minute details on the flap of the envelope. Any size of page or envelope is acceptable and unusual sizes and shapes are particularly nice to receive. One of my favorite letters was written on the back of postcards that showed where the author lived.

We both agree that the paper should be clean and without too much decoration. A border is nice but a busy background makes it harder to read the writing and after all that is the important part. I have sent and received many letters written on graph paper and I cherish each and every one of them. If you are writing to someone on deployment I recommend using white paper with a black pen that makes a nice solid line. Soldiers do not always have the luxury of reading letters in well lit locations and the high contrast makes the letter easier to read.

The heading of a personal letter should be simple and to the point. I write the date in the upper left corner and a simple address to start. I spell out the month and use all four digits for the year because I send a lot of letters overseas and 01/02/07 would be interpreted as January 2nd or February 1st depending on where the recipient lives. I also keep the address pretty simple by just writing the name of the recipient. If I know them well or intimately I would preface it with “My Dear” or “Dearest.”

The body of the letter is not set. I follow a standard formula of a few paragraphs in response to their last letter followed by a few paragraphs of news and updates in my life. Early in a letter exchanging relationship I try to end each letter with a question to learn more about my partner and suggest subjects for writing. I isn’t hard to come up with something to write in a letter. Quotations you like, movies you’ve seen, books you’ve read, places you would like to visit are all good starting points for a letter.

I also keep the signature very simple. I usually end with “Your Friend,” but I will also use more intimate phrases for the appropriate people. Sometimes I have signed in the style of a ship’s log or medieval author and use a long elaborate signature. Even though I print the rest of the letter I sign my name at the end. I think that adds a bit more of the personal touch, but I never look down on anyone who prints their entire letter. Always add your address at the end of the letter when writing someone for the first time. You should always include a return address on the letter but that can be obscured by dirt during transit. Adding the address inside ensures that the recipient always knows where to send a reply.

Now that I have covered how to write a letter I probably should answer jamee13’s original question about what to write in a letter. Since she is writing a letter to introduce her to a new person she could follow this outline:

1. Introduce yourself. This is as simple as “Hi! My name is Brendan.”
2. Tell your recipient how you found them. I find new penpals in LetterMag a magazine printed by Deutsche Post so I write about finding their name and why I wrote them a letter.
3. Tell them about yourself. I write about my job, where I live, my hobbies and a bit about my family.
4. Invite them to write back.
5. Sign the letter, stick it an envelope, address it, add postage and drop it in the mailbox.

The hardest part comes after you’ve mailed your letter. Waiting for a reply. Don’t obsess over getting a reply for each and every letter. Sometimes they get lost in the mail. Sometimes the person you wrote just doesn’t want to write back. I have sent out many introduction letters and only a few people have written back. Those few letters are treasures I’ll keep for ever. So don’t worry about writing the perfect letter. The one that you write is the perfect letter.

P.S. If you want to follow Miss Post’s advice about paper sizes, envelope flaps and all the other assorted details do not let this post stop you. The first rule is to have fun and if you enjoy finding the perfect paper, pen and crafting a work of epistlogical art then please do so. I would love to see the result.

I have nothing to do at work but they're paying me too much money to go home. So I've been spending the day reading papers that MJD has posted on his website. There is a common thread through the papers I've read so far. An example is:

• Downside: People from those other languages may be appalled
• Solution: Ignore them

That's one piece of advice I'm going to take to heart. ;)